6 Tips to Build Confidence
Confidence is an essential ingredient for success and happiness in life. It enables us to face challenges, take risks, and seize opportunities that may otherwise remain elusive.
Personally, I have struggled with confidence my entire life. When I started my career, I relied on other people's compliments to feel confident, but these fleeting moments of validation did little to truly build my self-esteem. In fact, in the public sector, where scrutiny and criticism are commonplace, it can be particularly challenging to cultivate and maintain confidence.
Building confidence is not an easy task, especially when dealing with self-doubt and insecurity, both of which are common issues that we all face to some extent. Everyone deserves to feel confident, but achieving this often requires conscious effort.
I have come to realize that confidence is something that must be cultivated from within. It is not something that can be given or taken away by others. Building confidence requires consistent, incremental effort to achieve impactful change. It involves acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, setting achievable goals, and celebrating our successes, no matter how small they may seem.
With time and effort, we can all learn to develop the kind of confidence that will enable us to succeed and thrive in both our personal and professional lives.
6 Tips to boost confidence and improve self-esteem.
Use of Language
The language you use has a significant impact on your confidence. If you frequently use negative self-talk or self-deprecating humor, you are likely undermining your self-esteem. Instead, try to use positive affirmations and self-talk. For example, replace "I can't do this" with "I can figure this out" or "I am capable of handling this." This small change in language can make a big difference in how you perceive yourself and your abilities. Affirmations, otherwise known as statements of support and encouragement, can also be helpful daily reminders.
I recognize that sometimes the use of confident language can be misinterpreted as abrasive, which may result in others thinking you are not collaborative or a team player. This is why I recommend you start with self-talk.
Recently, I created an affirmation that I posted on my bathroom mirror, which reminds me every morning, "I deserve to be and feel confident." Some days, I believe it more than others, but I can't hide from what I'm working towards when I am forced to see it every morning.
Visualization
One of the most effective ways to build your confidence is to visualize yourself as a confident, capable, and successful person. Actually feel the emotions associated with confidence, such as empowerment, enthusiasm, and self-assurance. Visualize yourself giving that presentation or holding a confident posture, and you will feel it in your body. Consistent, daily visualization can help you reprogram your mind and body to think and feel positively about yourself and your abilities.
Recently, I created a vision board that represents the things I want in life and how I want to feel (e.g., it includes a picture of Olivia Pope, in my opinion, one of the most confident characters on TV). When I look at my vision board, it grounds me and reminds me that what I want and who I want to be matters.
Support Network
The people you surround yourself with can also impact your confidence. If you spend time with people who are negative or critical, it can bring down your self-esteem. On the other hand, if you spend time with people who are supportive, encouraging, and positive, it can help you feel more confident. Try to identify the people in your life who do not contribute to your confidence and limit your interactions with them. Instead, surround yourself with people who lift you up and inspire you.
I consider myself fortunate to have a wonderful group of friends who are supportive and kind. It's truly a blessing to have friends who celebrate your successes, remind you of the lessons you've learned from failures, and cheer you on. This kind of support goes a long way in building confidence.
Choose a theme song
Music can be a powerful tool for building confidence. Find a song that makes you feel empowered, confident, and motivated. The key is to choose a song that resonates with you and inspires you. Listen to it whenever you need a boost of confidence, whether it's before a big presentation, a job interview, or a social event (inspiration taken from Ally McBeal).
My theme song is Eminem's "Lose Yourself." When I hear this song on the radio or at the gym, my posture changes, I feel more energetic, and I naturally refocus on my goals. I listen to my theme song when I need or want a quick attitude adjustment.
Build your skills
Confidence often stems from competence. When you feel knowledgeable and skilled in a specific area, it can boost your self-assurance. Take time to identify areas where you want to improve or learn new skills and set achievable goals for yourself. This may involve developing your writing and presentation skills or exploring a new hobby. As you work on building your skills, your confidence will also grow.
Whenever I lack confidence in a particular area, I invest extra time in researching and educating myself. This involves watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, and reading as much as I can. When I decided to start my own business, I researched extensively to learn from others' experiences, pitfalls, and successes.
Adopt a mastery mindset
It's important to adopt a mastery mindset rather than a performance mindset. A performance mindset is fixated on achieving success and avoiding failure, whereas a mastery mindset is focused on learning, growth, and improvement. Instead of fixating on the outcome, focus on the process of learning and developing. This can help build your confidence in your abilities, regardless of the outcome.
This is especially important since many organizations operate with a default performance mindset. I have adopted a mastery mindset in starting my coaching business and believe that each day is a new learning experience on this journey. I focus on creating meaningful content that could benefit others, rather than the number of "shares" or "likes" it receives.
Conclusion
Building confidence takes effort and time, but it's worth it. By following these six tips, you can start building your confidence and improving your self-esteem. Remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate your successes along the way.
As a professional coach, I specialize in helping others build confidence and make consistent, incremental progress towards their goals.
